Wednesday, December 21, 2005

"Italian Beef and Sausage Combo"

UPDATE: we wish to dispel the notion that we are against Chicago-style Italian Beef and Sausage combos. We are not. We LOVE them, especially when the sausage is grilled and bissected along the A-P axis. And with yummy giardinera.

Please do not attempt this at home, cobaggeroos. We have previously discussed this item here. Additionally, Three Bulls! Bay Area™ will have a RUN TO THE BEEF scheduled in January. However, there is on particular establishment that we will NOT be patronizing. And before Fulsome gets his panties in a bunch, he needs to read on. Why? Let us investigate:
Geenie C. was driving back from an errand in Sactown and she was so delightful as to try an establishment we had been casing for RTTB and bring Three Bulls! some take-out. Ok, first off the bun is correct. Excellent. Natural gravy on the side (think French Dip au jus, but not boulliony, beefy with Italian spices)- check, but how does it taste? Later. Hmm, we ordered the Beef and Sausage combo, where is our presumably grilled Italian Sausage. Let's part the not very juicy beef (DANGER)...
And nestled within thin shaved slices of beef is...a gray, deoxygenated schlong of a quote unquote boiled sausage? What is this, a Jim Thome special safely tucked into a manger of beef? How the hell was that thing cooked, a lukewarm tongue bath? Seriously, this thing looks quite off, like somebody with food poisoning in their wiener. Let's just say the excitement level is dropping fast. Luckily, I have the disgusting habit of tearing my food into pieces before I eat it. Lo and f***ing behold, friends:

Real live man meat is a warmer temperature than this sausage ever was. Funny think is my my awesome food photography makes the rest of the sandwich look yummy. Compare with professional:
Let's give UC a close-up of the beef. This picture makes it look 10 times juicier than it actually was.
Doesn't that pepper look awesome? Yeah, it does look awesome. Kids, what does this look like to you?
Verdict: Disgusting, and you know it breaks my heart to denigrate beef and pork togetherness like that.

16 Comments:

Blogger Seitz said...

Look, leave the beef and sausage out of this. It's not their fault. It's the crappy "food retail establishment" from whence this was purchased. I can assure that beef and sausage combos purchased from reputable eateries are quite delicious.

The beauty of the B&S, coincidentally, lies in its severability. It's the perfect meal when you want more than an Italian beef, but don't want two whole sandwiches. You remove the sausage, it the sandwich like a normal Italian beef, then eat the sausage separate. Really hits the spot

1:49 AM  
Blogger Pinko Punko said...

I LOVE beef and sausage combos. This particular one is an affront to humanity,

1:51 AM  
Blogger Seitz said...

it the sandwich

I meant "eat" the sandwich. That's quite a typo.

3:44 AM  
Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

Gross! I think I am with Pop on this one that eating meat, at all, is just a bad idea.

5:36 AM  
Blogger The Uncanny Canadian said...

I'd really have to try it to be sure that it truly is not delicious. The photography does make it appear quite palpable. That said, the thought of a grey deoxygenated schlong is quite sad and surprisingly unappetizing. I might have to concur with PP here*
* even though, by definition, pork and beef can never be disgusting

7:14 AM  
Blogger Pinko Punko said...

Yeah, UC< the fact that the sausage is not cooked all the way through probably means 3 weeks of something disgusting. Rocket butt.

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Gennie Cola said...

So I've had MANY Italian Beef's in my day and let me tell you this wasn't anywhere close. The meat was drier than eating a handful of sand. The "gravy" was basically beef broth. No yummy floating oregano and other Italian goodness. The beef just had no flavor. I told PP I could make a closer version of an Italian beef with bolonga, wonder bread and checken broth. I will not be visiting Chicago Deli again. At least not one in Pleasanton, CA

9:41 AM  
Anonymous Gennie Cola said...

Geenie C will be celebrating her 17th B-day on the 28th. (Ya, almost legal and all the robbing the cradle jokes will hopefully stop for PP.) I've ordered in Italian Beef from a reputable place in Chi-town. Now that is going to be GOOOOOOOD and real!

9:43 AM  
Anonymous Halford said...

perhaps on a normal day it would be disgusting, but if you were visiting chicago and hanging with 3 other males for the previous 24 hours pounding beers at a ridiculous rate and then waking up with a hangover.....the Beef/Sausage can become that cure you were looking for. And if you can stomach that on a hangover stomach then it would have to be utterly delicious!

Now go get me another OLD STYLE baby!

11:35 AM  
Blogger Pinko Punko said...

Halford- beef and sausage is awesome, this particular beef and sausage- NOT AWESOME.

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Halford said...

yeah, i had to go back and reread the review. there was no way in hell that pinko would denigrate the beef/sausage combo.

1:43 PM  
Blogger Dean Esmay said...

Italian beef sandwich: okay.

Chicago Italian beef: heaven on Earth.

Mixing the two is a profane violation of all that is sacred and holy.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Pinko Punko said...

Many real Chicago places offer a beef and sausage combo, and it is amazing. Seriously, it is like Italian Beef squared (which is infinity squared, I realize).

1:32 PM  
Blogger fulsome said...

I really like the updated version of the post. Sometimes, effort spent does show.

11:59 AM  
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