Thursday, December 08, 2005

Item - Mountain Dew Pitch Black II

You've got to be kidding, right? Part II: Back with a sour bite?

One look at this in the grocery store and Adorable Girlfriend and I realized that we finally found the one item that would qualify as a strong and resounding disgusting. Finally, I've waited so long to find something truly disgusting that I could contribute to D or D.

But wait .... I actually tried it to be sure, and the results surprised me. Grape soda pop on its own is a kind of childhood-acquired taste. You like it because you liked it as a kid when you had that Grape Fanta, even though it was terribly sweet and your parents told you that it would rot out your teeth. As you mature, the taste for things that sweet kind of diminishes. But never goes away. So here I am drinking my first grape pop in several years, anticipating with glee the waves of disgusting, and it's not disgusting. Goddammit! The sour but not too sour aftertaste cuts into the sweetness and gives it the slightest edge. Sure it looks disgusting, but so does borscht, and that's delicious. I can't help it, honest ...

Verdict: Delicious


Blogger Pinko Punko said...

What would they have to put in it to make it disgusting? I think they are cobags from makign it good. Pitch black should not taste like grape. It should taste like death. Literally, it should say "this soda will kill you and is deadly poison" only then should they be able to call it "Pitch Black".

10:21 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

For the Uncanny One to say it is disgusting it would have to include one or all of the following:

1. Eggnog
2. Stripper from TN
3. Cranberry Sauce from a can
4. Anything Applebee's
5. Republican Love

And the amount of sugar in Mt. Dew will kill you. Medical fact.

6:38 AM  
Blogger The Uncanny Canadian said...

I think any drink that advertises itself as pitch black without copious amounts of anise is just kidding themselves. That said, pitch black mixed with sambuca would probably taste like death and might finally warrant the rare and exotic disgusting verdict

8:17 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Sambuca warmed would bring it back to delicious.

You're bluffing -- it's all delish to you. You even hedged a bit on egg nog last weekend.

8:34 AM  
Blogger fulsome said...

The best part about Mountain Dew is brominated vegetabe oil! I love that sh!t (sorry GC)

10:59 AM  
Blogger pop renaissance said...

i once drank 2 64 oz. cups of mountain dew on a hot day whilst working in a warehouse. i've never felt so ill without doing illicit drugs in my life.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

You should feel ill from that kind of stuff Pop. It will kill you. I think more than cigarettes. The worst I ever had was that blue Pepsi that was on the market a few years ago. I tried it the morning after I woke up from about 10 etoh drinks too many the night before.

It was not pretty!

4:54 PM  
Blogger mdhatter said...

Iknow something terrible about this product

My knowledgemakes this product deviously delicious.

read this.

I know of this due to a run in with dark dark purple gatorade some months ago. No pain, but I was concerned for my organs. Seriously. Green. Kelly shamrock eirie green.

amuse your enemies.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Pinko Punko said...

So we have an answer as to probably differences between Mark I and Mark II.

9:30 PM  
Blogger Chuckles said...

Holy Crap!

Purple saurus rex was my favorite flavor!

8:11 AM  
Blogger The Uncanny Canadian said...

Dude, a google search for "bright green sh*t"? That's wrong for so many reasons.

8:35 AM  

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